Wellbeing Report – June 11, 2015
June 9, 2015
Dear Parents, Students and Friends of St Patrick’s College,
Recently I have been working with a number parents in relation to assisting their sons navigate adolescence. – No doubt this can be a very difficult time for all but invariably I draw on the wisdom of Dr Ian Lillico who is an expert in the field of boys’ education. Here are some insights that Dr Ian Lillico shared at a presentation which some may find useful.- What I like about his suggestions is that they are practical and easily applied in a range of contexts. Of course this advice is based on years of research, but as you will see below the information presented makes a lot of sense.
Dealing With Boys’ Feelings
Silence is often an excellent way of letting the boy find his own solutions rather than us imposing ours-”help them to problem solve.
Resist the temptation to make better instantly. Instead of giving advice continue to accept and reflect the child’s feelings.
Some Alternatives to NO
Give information (and leave out the NO)
Child: Can I go to Peter’s to play now?
Adult: We’re having dinner in 5 minutes.
Child: I don’t want to go home yet-”can’t we stay?
Adult: It’s hard to leave a place you enjoy so much.
Describe the problem
Child: Can you drive me to the library now?
Adult: I’d like to, but the electrician is coming in 30 minutes.
When possible substitute -YES- for -NO-
Child: Can we go to the playground?
Adult: Yes-”straight after lunch.
Give yourself time to think
Child: Can I sleep over at Gary’s house?
Adult: Let me think about it.
10 Final Wishes From Your Son
Please be firm with me, without hitting. This will allow me to know where I stand.
Please don’t worry when I say I hate you. It is not you I hate; it is what you stand for: an adult, wiser, older, etc.
Please don’t spoil me. I know I am not allowed to have all that I ask for. I don’t want to grow up selfish.
Please don’t embarrass me in front of others. Take me somewhere away from the group and talk to me.
Don’t worry about my small complaints, my silly or clever replies. The only reason I do this is to get attention.
Please try to understand that I can’t explain myself as well as I would like. Sometimes it appears I am lying, but I am really just being inaccurate.
Please don’t nag. If you do I go dumb, deaf and stupid.
I have lots of worries about the future. Please don’t tell me that my fears are silly. They are very real to me.
I feel close to you when you apologize to me. You are proving that you are treating me as a human being.
Please remember I am trying to grow up. A little hug now and then won’t go astray!
If you would like any further information about Dr Ian Lillico go to his website www.boysforward.com.au
Next week the second half of the school year begins-”Semester 2. This means changes in courses and teachers for some students, particularly in Year 11. It also means that assessment of learning in the first half of the year has been closed, examinations and final assignments are being marked by teachers and reports are now being prepared. Even though Semester 1 has ended, it is not yet time for students to wind down after exams and as they head towards the holidays, because a new semester means the commencement of new courses. It is, in fact, a time to return to study with a fresh attitude and a new opportunity for improvement and achievement.
– As mentioned above, the exam cycle is upon us as we approach the end of Semester One. This is the most important point of reference for students, parents and teachers so far this year. It should clearly demonstrate what students have learned and achieved, provide that information to teachers and families, successes celebrated, concerns responded to and goals set for Semester Two. Now is a time to keep encouraging and guiding students, and if you have concerns raise them with relevant staff at school.
As this is the last edition of the Crest for Term 2 I hope those who can, have a good break from school; safe travelling particularly to those families heading interstate or abroad and we look forward to your return next Term when classes commence on Monday July 13.-
Best Wishes for the week ahead.
Deputy Headmaster -“ Wellbeing